Sat. Jul 2nd, 2022

Welcome again, fellow-Fancies! Can you imagine that it’s been ten years since we dunked our class rings in our Murphy’s mugs at commencement? It looks as if simply yesterday we have been occurring bare runs throughout Turner Green, attending bare events within the basement of Ackerman, having fun with bare brunches in Webster Cafeteria, and going to class bare on Go to Class Naked Day.

I’m so glad that you just’ve all made the journey again this weekend, regardless of the purpose—whether or not you’re right here to indicate off your hedge-fund partner, are nonetheless searching for a hedge-fund partner, or simply wish to present an outdated flame that you just’ve received hotter with age.

It was nice reconnecting with lots of you ultimately night time’s Midnight Masquerade. Although, as enjoyable because it was going wild to Taylor Swift’s “22,” the best way my head felt this morning was a painful reminder that we’re positively not twenty-two anymore!

And how in regards to the nostalgia of sleeping within the dorms once more? It’s been a lot enjoyable sharing a room with my outdated suitemates, Caroline L. and Caroline G. It’s similar to freshman 12 months, besides with out the suitemate all of us hated, Emily Q., stealing our underwear solely to gamble it away at Theta Kappa’s Up the Panty strip-poker match.

Now, earlier than I’m going any additional, I wish to give an enormous shout-out to Susan and the Fancy College upkeep group. I’ll have deliberate this reunion, however they’re the heroes who made it occur. So let’s give all of them a giant spherical of applause.

That jogs my memory—Susan, somebody vomited within the vestibule of Bartlett Chapel final night time, simply F.Y.I. Fellow-Fancies, let’s all make an effort to deal with our liquor a bit higher at tonight’s Liquored-Up Luau.

And, as regards to reining it in, a delicate reminder that, whereas it might be tempting to re-create the traditional Fancy College expertise of hooking up within the stacks of the Sullivan Annex tonight, exposing your self in a university library could be very a lot a criminal offense, and, now that we’re in our thirties, Fancy College will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the legislation.

For these of us who nonetheless have vitality tomorrow morning, there might be student-led excursions of the brand-new ExxonMobil Center for Student Life, previously the M.L.Ok. Memorial Student Center. This beautiful campus facility homes the Oil Slick Lanes bowling alley, the So Fracking Hungry Café, and the Spill the Beans espresso bar. Kids at Fancy College certain have it good as of late, don’t they? Who else remembers desirous to seize a late-night chunk when the one factor they served within the pupil heart was M.L.Ok. shakes?

But that’s not all that’s occurring tomorrow. Stick round until the afternoon, as a result of there might be a Who’s Doing What Q. & A., at which your former classmates will clarify what they’ve been as much as since we graduated. The first group might be speaking about their thrilling adventures in high-frequency buying and selling and personal fairness, and the second group might be speaking in regards to the nonprofits they based to save lots of the world from the primary group.

And, talking of charity, I’m happy to announce that the Ten-Year-Reunion Giving Committee has raised almost 1,000,000 {dollars} towards constructing a state-of-the-art tire swing within the Old Quad! Whether you dressed up as a duck for the Ducks in a Row Halloween sculling contest, or snuck onto the highest of the Big Dome for a Raves the Roof silent disco, all of us have fond recollections of our time right here at Fancy College, and we owe it to future Fancies to present again.

That’s all from me. Now let’s get pleasure from tonight’s festivities, together with the Crawl within the Hall pub crawl at Morris Hall. And whereas, no, you can’t bribe the d.j. to proceed enjoying previous the city’s curfew (I’m you, Kevin H. who works at Morgan Stanley), rumor has it there’s going to be a Thirty and Flirty bare after-party at Stool and Scepter, Fancy College’s most secretive secret society, whose iconic constructing remains to be positioned proper within the heart of the Old Quad. Stop by so that you just, too, may be unceremoniously turned away on the door. It’ll be like senior 12 months yet again!

Oh, and earlier than I overlook, “stool” jogged my memory that the bathroom within the girls’s toilet of the Bradley Common Room is totally clogged and beginning to overflow. Sorry, Susan.

Fellow-Fancies, see you all tonight on the dance flooring, after which once more in 5 to fifteen years! ♦

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